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About Design & Interfaces / Artist Shy GirlFemale/United States Virgin Islands Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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I wish I could feel
So that I might heal
And hold what we lost
Of a great cost
It all slipped away
In less than a day
And I feel so cold
As memories grow old
My mind wanders
Yet never ponders
What happened to our bond
And of each other we were so fond
But I cannnot remember
Back to that December
It feels so long ago
Now I stand and see a foe
I look over my shoulder
And my heart grows colder
Mocking me with pictures
Making emotional mixtures
I can feel the tears
As they turn into years
My fears don't end
'Cause this heart won't mend
And I wonder if I die
If I tell another lie
That hides our love
As I stay silent like a dove
And you live deny
But can no longer rely
Secrets are to keep
For there are rivers to leap
You reached my heart
Pierced it with a dart
Sank beneath my armor
Like a regular charmer
Forever I shall be yours
For you have closed my doors
Never knowing what to believe
From the morning to my life's eve
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 2 0
Pass Me Up... Or Down
There was a smirk
On his face
As he looked at me
Looked like he wanted to eat me
There was that sparkle in his eyes
Saying he wanted more
Without words
And that was when I knew
He wasn't the same anymore
That little boy I knew
Grew up with
Shared so many
Childhood memories with
Was gone
And was replaced
By a beast
A horrible beast
That made me sick
To my stomach
Made my insides turn
Summersault and roll
Like I was too good
To let pass by
He would swallow me
In one gulp
Barely a chance to savor
Anything if he wanted
Before I would be passed on
Right to the next person
Without a care
Because I was the luggage
The rag doll
Let me be free
And stare at the sky
As the clouds roll on by
Framed by a gray sky
In my state of mind
Slice of screaming peace
I would be swallowed
In pain
And a long road to recovery
So here it starts
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 0 0
I Fake It For You
And I fake it for you
Every single day
I fake the smiles
The laugh isn't real
I've just been tired
And it's cause of you
You take up my mind
Worry me to no end
Wear me down
And break me apart
But I can't tell you that
I can't show it
Because I won't hurt you
Or give you that guilt
So I suck it up
Deal with it each day
Here you come
So I smile big
Before I turn around
And let it fade away
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 2 6
Back In Time
I wish I could go back in time
To when I barely knew you
I knew your name
I knew your face
You were just a person there
Who didn't occupy my mind
When there was no us
When there was nothing between us
Nothing to be valued
Nothing to be scared of
Everything open
Everything as right as rain
But look at us now
I feel like we can't talk
Face to face
And we only see each other
To hold each other
And it feels so wrong
When my face turns red
But I feel more
But you don't
I don't want desire
I don't want these feelings
When they are wearing me down
Taking away
I can't sleep
I can't dream
And don't think this is worth it
How'd you even come
To be in my life
You make these crazy claims
And I don't know which to believe
What happened to not knowing?
You said you ruined good friendships
And don't want to ruin ours
But I can't tell you how I feel
Because I won't hurt you
No, I won't
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 4 12
Small Regrets
I wish I could have
Taken a picture
Frozen that moment
Of delirious joy
It was nothing special
At the time
Seeing you smile
Is enough for me
But it's not everyday
'Cause you can't meet someone twice
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 3 2
Dark gray walls
On all four sides
A light from the ceiling
One chair in the middle
He sits on the chair
Hair covering his forehead
And stark blue eyes
Knees buckled together
Arms wrap around the chair
Feeling his chest
Running down his jaw
Bunching up his shirt
Look at those eyes
And what do you see?
Pain, contempt, betrayal?
But who sits behind the chair
Controlling the arms
That dance, that torture
And tease to no end?
So let him spin around
And shine the light on her
Now it's his arms
And legs locked around her
Blankly she sits
Her knees together, feet apart
The concrete cold
Through her jeans
And hands run down
Over her shoulders
Sliding over her collar bones
Cascading down her arms
Her lips pull apart
A face full of defeat
The two link hands
And now, what?
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 1 0
Be Silent
Be silent
And feel my words
Run across your skin
Like lips across your chest
Listen to me now
Feel my pain
Screams can be silent
If you ignore the protests
A heart bleeds blood
The gun does too
Making a wound
All the more prominent
I'll burn the sage
Who needs advice?
From a guy who's had
That many girls
Do you know the feeling?
Honesty is best
But is it better
Than a girl on your hips?
So are your feelings deeper
Than your tongue
In that girl's mouth
Because I have doubts
So please, dear
Be silent
I'm healing a heart
Without your lips
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 1 0
Me vs. Myself
I think I might
But I'm really not sure
Fear holds me back
But he does too
Reluctant to leave
Yet I want to flee
Afraid to let go
'Cause I want you too
Something stands
In my way
I can't get to you
I think it's me
So there you are
Ready to heal
But I stand in the way
Unsure of you
If you're just like him
It'll happen again
And I want to trust you
Still I'm in my way
Help me see
You're the one for me
That you're someone safe
And I'll be okay.
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 1 0
The Future?
I hope you're glad
I'm like this now
You left me a scar
I can't ignore
Too tentative to believe
Or ever love again
These scars show through
They're ugly, it's true
I am stopped by you
From all we've been though
You think all is well
Through far from true
You've ruined my future
At least for a while
I hide from love
Like I hide from you
A stain in my mind
A stain on my heart
I was pierced through
And can't forget you
So where's my future?
It's sealed up tight
I fear what will come
And that he'll be like you.
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 1 19
If I close my eyes
And shut out the world
Maybe I'll remember you
For another moment or two
I want to remember
The way you smile
I want to feel
The look of your eyes
I try to think
Of the times you frowned
To see if I was there
To turn it around
But I forget the laugh
It slips away
And my days grow dark
Without you there
Hope still lingers
Even without you
For there is him
And he's almost as good
Though he's not you
He heals me through
Puts wings on my back
And holds me true
I'll remember you
But I'll remember him too
And all we've been though
So here's too the future...
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 2 0
Cheating on me
Dating that girl
Believing she cared
When she screamed at you
Wanting a hug
When you were ready to let go
Suddenly not giving a damn
And your heart of ice
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 2 2
What They Want
Eyes of a dragon
Red and fierce
Sunken into your skull
Watching too closely
From the corner
Venom swirls
Watching my moves
Waiting for the prey
Like I’m something to eat
When I’m nothing like that
Because I want something
But something other than you
Don’t look at me
When I know what you want
It’s not what they think
But so much more
Swallow your pride
Let go this one time
Forget all you know
And forget me too
Like I’m something to eat
When I’m nothing like that
Because I want something
But something other than you
Innocence gone
Sweetness vanished
All that we see
Is a mask of insects
Lay on the charm
Not my body
Deceiving, dishonesty
Passion is a fake
Like I’m something to eat
When I’m nothing like that
Because I want something
But something other than you
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 0 0
Eyes, My Ocean
But I can not fathom
A world without you
For your eyes are my
Clear blue ocean
Impossible to grasp
Is the concept you fled
For your eyes are my
Clear blue ocean
Whilst you look younder
Into the sky
Those eyes are my
Clear blue ocean
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 1 12
Paper Bag
Laughing, talking
Smiling a lot
Sit down to eat
Open a paper bag
Pull out a sandwich, an apple
A bottle of water too
Nothing much to it
Everything between me an you
Instead of a sandwich
I get a heart
Beating in my palm
Like some kind of joke
You gave me your heart
That was a lie
Never should have trusted
Such a great guy
How about an apple?
No, where’d it go?
Thought I knew your mind
Guess that was wrong too
That mind was a cover
Who would have thought?
Never should have trusted
Such a great guy
A bottle of water
Something else now
You gave me love
Everything was mine
But no that’s a lie
There was really nothing to it
Never should have trusted
Such a great guy
So I’ll empty this paper bag
‘Cause it’s a bag full of everything
And place it over my head
Because it can’t hold anymore lies.
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 1 0
See The Stars
Can you hear it?
Because I can
It calls to me
Like it calls to you
Open the door
Just step outside
Look to the skies
Look into the night
The moon hums
The stars sing
A symphony in the sky
Two hearts collide
Look at the sky
It's the same sky we all see
Listen for a moment
And let time slow down
Night is your blanket
Its song is your pillow
Watch it all
Dance across the sky
But only if you
See the stars.
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 2 0
Depend on the medicine
That we call laughter
Forgetting the past
Takes too long
Covering it up
Is so much simpler
But still it lingers
As close as my shadow
Is there a cure
For this pain?
Search the cabinets
Toss the pills
But there's no presciption
Just one guy
Who takes away
Makes you feel better
You forget the pain
And become addicted
It might fail you
Just when needed most
Never would have thought
Laughter was so good.
:iconlilymurrell:LilyMurrell 1 0

Random Favourites



Shy Girl
Artist | Design & Interfaces
United States Virgin Islands
Life is like a box of colored pencils.

You never know what you're going to get.
You may not like the color.

But if you're like the majority of the population, you suck it up and go on with life.

And people take pictures of you as well.

Hi, my name Lily Murrell... possibly. My pen name, my artist's names, etc. Yes, I sketch, but you won't be seeing a lot with that because I have a bad scanner. Technically, I could take pictures of the sketches, but do I really want to? Not really. ESPECIALLY after someone said something I drew looked like a c-section scar. But since then, I have improved. Just ask Kara (love you, girly!). : )

When life is chaotic, you just want to sit down and think. Well, at least, I do.

And one more thing? I'm not in love. Because that is pain.

AHAHAHA, but I fail and end up in that situation anyway because I'm pathetic. OUCH.

Current Residence: My dreams...
Print preference: 24*36
Favourite genre of music: Rock/ Alternative
Favourite photographer: Many, many people.
Favourite style of art: Oil On Canvas/ Digital Media/ Sketch
Operating System: Mac (I Wish)
MP3 player of choice: iPod
Shell of choice: The kind you find on the ocean beach. : )
Favourite cartoon character: If Jace Wayland were a character...
Personal Quote: "You're a wolf."

December Brings...

Journal Entry: Sat Dec 26, 2009, 2:13 PM

Deep Silence by SvenMueller What is there not to love about this?  I mean, really.  If my back yard looked like that, I'd by a space heater and be camped out there for the whole dang winter.

Thank you to *Sbaa for the 3 month membership (: I love it, and my visits to deviantART will increase as long as semester finals don't get in the way -_- Oh joy, finals.  January is a busy month, mostly because of the band's trip to EWU and the possiblity of MDP (Manhattan Dance Project!). Which, by the way, is really intimidating if you watch some of the other dancers.  I met Katie while I was in California too which was SUPER exciting! :D SO STOKED ABOUT THAT I ACTUALLY USED THE WORD STOKED!
Christmas was good... jumped on me by surprise, and I think I actually realized it was Christmas when I was watching Pirates of the Carribean for the third time. At 10:00 at night, of course.  So... it just kind of went by.  But that's okay, that means there's a new year coming.  And a new year means an (almost not really) new start and new opportunities.  I have my eye on ONE... ;]
Happy New Year!
~Aya Papaya

design & coding by Sliding-Panda
floral brushes by ro-stock
photo of lily by lusi

  • Listening to: Conversations... Thoughts...
  • Reading: What I Already Know
  • Watching: Memories


Add a Comment:
karabella95 Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Hahaha took you long enough, but thanks for the fave ;)
Sbaa Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2010   Photographer
So have you given up on the Deviant Art Stuff?
LilyMurrell Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2010   Interface Designer
Yes. What a fail.
Sbaa Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2010   Photographer
You should continue, you were good (:
LilyMurrell Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2010   Interface Designer
Thanks (: I just never have time anymore...
(1 Reply)
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